You just made me feel so damn special
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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