he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i dont even know how to be here
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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