is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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