I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
