You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
