Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
