He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
