In the future we'll all be gay
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
how do flat chested girls get laid?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
