Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
