My brain says no but my pants say off.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
