hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
