I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
