I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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