so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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