So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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