i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
