hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I just gargled with NyQuil
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