she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
