sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
