In the future we'll all be gay
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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