i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
