my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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