youre lurking in front of me
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
