Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
