Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
