**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
