dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
