i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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