someone threw a dead crab at me
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
