We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
