I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
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