Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Randomize
