do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
