Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
