At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
