Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
