i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
He did a backflip because drugs
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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