how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
As shirtless as possible
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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