We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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