You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
