When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
