No I am not eating basil off your cock
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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