Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
