Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
