My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
where are my eyebrows?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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