Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
