i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
