i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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