I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
