don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
